When you hear about people going through the stresses of grief, it’s hard to imagine their pain. You can assume it feels like the worst pain ever. But unless you’ve experienced it, there is no way to describe it. The terrible truth is that death is inevitable. And I had to experience this in my closest relative about two weeks ago: my grandfather.
I could try to explain the pain and unsettling emotions that came with losing someone. But that won’t really help anyone. As much as I talk about the pain, it won’t make it any less present. And it probably won’t make it any more understandable for you. I can and will, however, explain why death seems so eminent after losing the best man I’ve ever met and know. There’s someone about it, death, that is so unknown. One moment you are okay and the next you’re wondering why we are even here on this world. You assume you’re done grieving, but then something happens to prove on the contrary. But there is one thing death does, that at times I appreciate, and at times I hate. Which is, that in losing one person, you realize how close death is for us all.
I understand now, death isn’t for 87 averaged aged people. My grandfather was 77. Some people are 100, 17, 1 day old. Unfortunately, death isn’t a sign of growing old. Death is a sign life ending—regardless of the years lived or time spent. It will strike at anytime. And it isn’t fair. It will steal anyone in its path.
Now I for one, can accept this as okay in certain circumstances. As a person who believes in life after death, it’s affirming to know that even if death takes us, those who believe, will still live on, in what I believe is heaven. In knowing this, the sting of death doesn’t seem so strong or present. There is hope even in the darkest of times. And in this opinion of mine, death, a dark thing, doesn’t seem so dark anymore. There comes a small glimmer of hope.
But death still hurts. Death will still take the frail and the weak. It will still take all, young or old. And in the end, death always occurs. After losing my grandfather about two weeks ago, I have so much apprehension. Who is next? After witnessing death, it seems like it’s all around me. Like I have a new view of things, a new lens to look through. And death, isn’t so unknown anymore–it’s real.
What really gets to me, is that I don’t see death as sickness. Sure we can prevent some diseases, we are working on curing things like cancer. But making you healthier doesn’t make death go away. Death can take you in any aspect of your life: sports, music, cars, technology, crime, and yes, health. But I’m not trying to avoid death by taking all the supplements and vitamins I can. Because the next minute, when I am driving in a car, I could just as easily die in a forceful impact. Death is lurking all around.
Don’t get me wrong, yes, I do want to see my grandpa in heaven once I go, and yes until that day I’ll miss him. But death seems so cruel and aggressive. I don’t want to let it win early. I will not give it that benefit. My grandpa would want me to keep going and live a positive life. He wouldn’t want me to give up, making death’s job easier. He would want me to fight until my dying moment. Whether that be in 80 years or 8 weeks. I will never stop fighting for life. Because the longer I am here, the longer I can make an impact and inspire, just as my grandfather had.
Death may be cruel, real, inevitable, and eminent. But grandpa, I’ll fight for you. I’ll live on for you. And one day, whenever death decides to take over, the joke will be on him, because I’ll get to come home and live on forever with my Grandpa. Death will think he has won, but really, he’s lost. But until that day, I’ve got some work to do. Save me a good seat up there, Grandpa! Take it easy, kid!
Your Adventures Await…Go Forth and Conquer!