Motivated: Why I’m Not.

Some days I wake up and wish I could flip the pillow to the cold side and fall back asleep. Some days I get dressed and wish I didn’t always feel the need to impress. Some days I start my day and wish it could be the shortest one of them all. Some days I do work and wish it didn’t take effort.

Some days I have no motivation.
“Some days” has been every day this week.

I normally aim to be a positive, free-spirited person. I mingle with people, enjoy hearing stories, telling stories. I love to laugh and make people laugh. I cherish the moments when everything is mighty fine.

But, I’m not always positive and free-spirited. I get agitated, sad, angry, tired. I reach a point where I can’t be around people anymore. I just need a break. I need peace.

It’s healthy to be alone at times, or so I believe. I don’t think I could survive if I was constantly around people. But, I know from experience that it’s not healthy to be alone, too.

Loneliness is a terrible path to tread. It will tear all you have apart. It sucks the joy and happiness from life. It makes you tired and feeling empty.
Though many people may be around me, I still feel lonely at times.

When I have no motivation, I get this heavy feeling on my chest. I lay in bed and the feeling never goes away. It’s ever present. It reminds me that I’m not fine.

Now believe me when I say, it’s okay not to be okay. But when you accept that you’re not okay and it won’t get better—that’s not okay.

I have no motivation, no energy, and I feel alone. And that feeling hasn’t shaken off; it’s been about a week. But I can’t sit here and write about my lack of motivation without telling you this: I haven’t given up.

I may have quit in the past.
But today, at this moment:

I haven’t given up.

There is always peace in the calamity. Always joy in the pain. There is always comfort in the loneliness.
And eventually, that will motivate me.

Sometimes I need to have a week with no motivation, to remind me that I’m still going. That if I can make it through this week, I’ll be better equipped for next. That’s good enough to light a fire of motivation in me.

I haven’t given up.

Your Adventures Await…Go Forth & Conquer.

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