I wake up in the morning and question if I can even make it through another day. I go to bed at night and dread having to do it all over again in the morning. I’m constantly anxious, I dwell on the thoughts of everything that isn’t going right, and I wonder what life would be like if I was actually living.
I haven’t posted anything in quite some time. It has been weighing on me this week. I just can’t seem to find anything to write about or the time to sit down and write. Out of nowhere my life got extremely busy. To having more people living in my family’s house, to realizing the ACT is in less than a month. My mind has not been in the realm of writing. Even when it has been, it’s only been for my advanced composition class.
I don’t know what it is, but my brain has been fried lately. I’ve fallen into a routine of work and sleep that there isn’t much room for anything else. I haven’t been extremely social, haven’t gone out much. It’s been a lot of staying in my room, eating ice cream, doing work and falling asleep. My life is pretty boring at the moment.
I wrote a post last year about how I’m not motivated. This week is a week like that one I had last year. I care enough to not give up, but I am having to push myself extremely hard. I was talking to a friend of mine and they told me this, “…we just need to go and take the next step, even if the next step is just waking up in the morning”. I dread the morning–mostly because I haven’t been getting much sleep at night. But when it hits 6:30am, I have a choice to make. Start my day or give up.
On any given day I would much rather roll back to sleep. but I know deep down I can’t. I may not feel the best, I may not be well rested, it may be a horrible day. But I have to kick off the covers and start my day. I should stop worrying about what the next will bring–I have way too much to worry about to constantly be doing so.
This week has been a lot of starting my day when deep down I don’t want to.
I think that’s okay. I just hope next week is better.
By the way, I wrote a guest blog post for my teacher’s blog a few weeks ago. It has to do with my digital personal narrative. You can check it out here.
Your Adventures Await…Go Forth and Conquer!